Small Update

I am ok. Naomi--thanks for asking. Mr D ebbs and flows. Sometimes he's the nice guy I married. Sometimes he's not. For the most part, I try to make my own happiness and draw from the joy my girls bring me.

I still feel like Mr D hates me every now and then. He did get better, then he slid back to jerk mode. I sometimes find myself regretting having married him (which is a conflict in myself because I don't regret my girls for one second). I'm going to do my best to live my life and make sure my girls don't make the mistake I did.

It's the path I chose. I'm going to stick with it. "Love is patient..."

Baby News

Wanted to let you know that I had our baby girl in April! She is perfectly healthy and everything went really well. The twins love her and after a little adjusting they are now great big sisters.

My husband is pretty much ok lately. What's changed is my attitude. Namely, I know I can't change his actions but I can control how I react (or don't) to his crap.

Thanks for reading. Not sure if/when I'll post again.

Update

Just wanted to let you know everything is still going ok. I am due in about a month and feeling fine, no complications at all. Mr. D and I are doing better than we were a year ago, but of course he hasn't made a 180. (As I wouldn't expect, seeing as how we are not getting formal/outside help.) I will post again after the baby is born.

Thanks for reading--really.

Sorry

I haven't purposely been holding back how I'm doing--I'm just avoiding blogging for now.

But I wanted to let the few of you know that things are going very very GOOD! We are having another girl, due April 15th. No complications, everything looks good so far with her. (But no name yet!) I am feeling great and Mr. D and I are getting along wonderfully lately. For about the last 2-3 months, things are really good between us.

I guess that's why I feel guilty keeping this blog behind his back. I don't plan to post again anytime soon, but for some reason I feel like keeping a "record" in case I want to go back over things, so I'm not deleting the blog. Yet.

I am still ever grateful to those of you who gave encouraging comments, followed me, and provided advice and support. Thank you.

I'm Pregnant

Can you believe it? I can't! But 3 tests tell me so! Mr. D is very excited and after I got over the shock I found myself very happy and excited also.

There is nothing I enjoy more than being a mother and I think it's the best thing on earth. If I didn't have (enough) motivation before to "fix" myself and begin to mend my relationship with Mr. D, I do now.

I appreciate all your support. I honestly am POSITIVE I wouldn't be going to conseling soon if it weren't for your encouragement and opinions. But, I think I am going to take a break from blogging right now as I sort out whether or not I should keep this secret going behind his back. So, I don't want to leave you hanging but I need to get things together. This is not my last post, just my last one for a while.

Reality and a Test

Back to "normal"!!! So much for the UNO bond we shared! Mr. D came home from work today in a terrible mood, and I just added to it. He came up to the door, hands full and knocked and knocked to be let in because he didn't want to put his stuff down to get his key out. I didn't hear him, so I didn't let him in. I was vacuuming! Shame on me. He didn't actually yell at me, but came in swearing about his bad luck with timing and blah blah blah. Pooooooooooooooooor baby.

And. Umm. I'm late. You know, LATE. I am taking a test tomorrow morning but I am already a few days late and I'm usually pretty predictable.

UNO Anyone?

We played UNO last night. Just me and Mr. D. We never play UNO.

It was so much fun! We both really enjoyed playing together.

I couldn't believe how it was so nice and normal to just hang out and get along! The tv was off and everything, how special I know. LOL

(Now, I know this doesn't change things permanently or mean he can be a jerk and then be nice and everything's fine and blah blah blah, but I just thought I'd share with all you wonderful web friends/followers that I'm not always on the verge of tears and feeling like the bottom of a shoe!)

~~~Yes I'm still going to call. And I am still ever grateful for your continued support.~~~