I was thinking over the whole internet blogging thing. I am addicted, for sure. Mostly to reading blogs. But I feel like this blog I write is a form of therapy for me. Silent, anonymous therapy. That's free from money and time restrictions.
I have my blogs that I read faithfully. I love them. They are often a great escape for me. A great percentage of the blogs I read are good stuff. They are a nice part of my day. And I visit them often to pick me up, lift my spirits.
Yet, then I write this blog which is not rose colored in any way shape or form. Sorry for that. I do sometimes think this just looks like a whine fest. For the most part, it's very bleak and pessimistic. And I am aware of that. There are good things in my life; I guess I have mentioned some here (obviously my girls are #1!!!). But for me, it's been so theraputic to gather a collection of the negative and (later) bounce ideas off some of you.
When I started this blog, I thought I was just doing it to get some of my frustrations out. To organize my thoughts and vent a bit. I told myself it would just be my private way of letting things out that I feel I can't share with anyone in my life. I didn't think it would matter if anyone read it, and I told myself that it was fine that way.
But then, it seems, I went out searching. I left comments on others' blogs under this identity, knowing that for the most part, blog authors will click on who it is that is leaving a them a comment. I guess I subconsciously wanted someone, anyone, to hear me.
I am glad people read this blog. I feel like someone is listening to me. Since (I feel) I can't talk to my family and friends about this stuff, I am glad to know that somebody cares. The comments that are left--whether it was support, advice, a book suggestion, a new thought pattern or direction, I appreciate it all.
It also helps knowing others feel like this. Not that I want anyone to be miserable, or trapped, or whatever. But when some of you say "me too" I know I'm not crazy for being fed up!! It's also been good for me to ask "is it ok that Mr. D. did (blah blah blah)?" "do other husbands say...?" etc. because you let me know "that's unacceptable" or "here's what I did" etc.
Thank you. Thanks for reading my blog even though it's not all good news and wonderful stuff. Thank you for listening and thanks for your advice too.
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