Update: I guess I just wanted to know if other husbands do this stuff and I should just blow it off or if this is ridiculous to other women too... Thanks for the comments, they validate my feelings.
When he:
~~tells me I got him up on the wrong side of the bed today? (for the record, I didn't wake him up today)
~~walks into our closet after part of one of the shelves fell down and says "there was nothing of mine on there, right?" then walks out, leaving the mess
~~sees me getting dressed and says, in a disgusted voice, "oh those totally don't match"
~~says after eating dinner (which happened to be a one-dish meal) "this would make a great side dish"
~~promises to do stuff around the house and then doesn't get to it for MONTHS
~~makes me feel bad about my appearance
~~never says "please" and rarely says "thank you"
***for anyone keeping track, the "nice" behavior didn't last long... he is back to snapping at me and hating life
Big Boo Cast: Episode 386
20 hours ago
I wouldn't be upset -- I'd be PISSED --
ReplyDeleteNo one deserves this treatment...
i'd have to fight the urge to do bodily harm to him in his sleep. i'm in agreement with the first comment - PISSED! you are SO above this crap.
ReplyDeleteYou most certainly should be upset. All this is HIS problem. He owns it. You are NOT IN ANY WAY RESPONSIBLE FOR HIS BEHAVIOR.
ReplyDeleteHe will NOT change by himself. He will only get worse and worse. This bad situation will escalate to much worse.
He will not change without help. But first he must recognize that he has a problem, it is HIS problem, and that he will only get better with professional help.
You cannot continue in any way to rationalize any of his behavior. You don't deserve to live like this. Life is too short. If he shows no sign of getting the help he needs, then get out. You have tons of advantages. You're college educated. You are wasting your life on him. He doesn't deserve you and you don't deserve this kind of life. There's no shame or guilt in leaving an abusive husband.
Abusive men deserve only to be alone. That way they can't abuse anyone.
It has to do with power. He wants full control of you. And he gets control by beating you down and convincing you that you are lower than dirt and you only deserve his abusive behavior. His purpose right now is to leave you with absolutely no self-esteem at all. That way you are in his power. You will have no will to leave him. You will blame yourself for everything. It's all your fault. If only you were a better wife, a better person, then he would be nice to you and say nice things and treat you with kindness and respect and love and encouragement--all those things that you somehow think you deserve--but you will never get those things from him. Not in this current situation. YOU have to make the change. He never will until he's forced to do so.
ReplyDelete