So, I've been thinking it over and I've decided that, yes, I should see a counselor.
I haven't worked out the details yet: should I go alone, then ask Mr. D to come too? is this counseling for me and the way I see my world or should it be marriage counseling? does insurance pay for it? if I decide to go just me, how do I bring it up to Mr. D?
By the way, over the weekend Mr. D said to me, "Honey, I've talked to all my friends and they have it ten times worse than I do." (on the subject of relationships/marriage) Soooooooooooo I guess this means he thinks his grass is greener sometimes??? Interesting to me though, is how he worded it "worse than me..." as in HE thinks HE'S got it bad? I should show him my blog!
Ha! Just kidding, I think the ramifications of that would be catastrophic.
On the upside though I guess it's good that all he has to do is talk to his buddies to realize I am a good companion/homemaker/wife/partner/whathaveyou.
Whatever! I'll ride this high out for as long as he will... (until the next bad thing happens at work, of course!)
Big Boo Cast: Episode 387
10 hours ago
I'd recommend you go by yourself initially and then work with the counselor to determine if it's the right time to approach him about going. Do you think he would go for couples counseling if you invited him to join you? What would his response be if you had to guess?
ReplyDeleteWe made the most progress when we attended separately (though he only went like 3 times and quit) but I learned alot of coping skills and it helped a great deal. When there's that much hurt and hidden thoughts about possibly leaving, going together might not be the best plan right at this point, but maybe soon, after you feel more prepared to take that journey. It can be a hard road to hear what the other party has to say in that setting.
Again, just my 2 cents. I'm glad he realizes even at a minimal level that he's got a good thing. :)
I am so happy for you that you are at the place that you are considering counseling.
ReplyDeleteI wish that I had gone sooner.
I wish that I had confided in my sister sooner.
I hope that you find a good counselor and are able to get results in whatever area you are hoping to. Counseling can be very helpful, if you are truly willing to share what you are feeling. I think it might be nice for you just to get the feelings out, and not just onto paper. Having someone else tell you you are not crazy might make a world of difference for you!
ReplyDeleteInsurance oten covers a certain number of times a year and the counselor often asks insurance for more sessions, and it is often granted. Insurance also often can help you find someone to see.
ReplyDeleteMrs. D, I suggest you go, feeling that you can and should discuss all aspects of your life, not just marriage! Anything you feel about anything...motherhood, family relationships, economic issues...don't limit your thoughts to just your marriage. It all interconnects.
I am glad you will have someone to speak with!
i agree with the first comment that you should start out going by yourself. if you try to get him to go at first and he throws a hissy fit, he might derail your good intentions. definitely praying it pays off bigtime.
ReplyDeleteand i nearly choked on my sweet tea when i read about other people having it 'worse than him.' pleeeeeeeeease.