On The Outside, On The Inside

Here's what we look like: the all-American family. We have it good. We are your typical middle-class family living in Suburbia.

We have no debt besides our house.

We are healthy.

We have 2 good girls.

We have a nice colonial.

We have a picket fence for pete's sake.

We have a 2 car garage, with 2 nice cars.

My husband has a college degree and a well-paying job, albeit the source of (most of) his misery.

I have a college degree and I get to stay home with our twins.

We (seemingly) have no problems.

Of course we're worried about the economy and our IRAs, his 401k, etc. But that's it, right?

Wrong.

Oh, he is very careful of how others see us. (I am too, hence the title of this blog...)

It's a show where only I get a front row ticket.

He doesn't want me to use the kitchen faucet while he watches tv. It's too loud.

But why isn't the kitchen cleaned up from breakfast yet?

I opened the box of granola bars too loudly.

Everything I do is just so loud.

He wants to be left alone.

But "How do I get a glass of water over here?"

He is vain, always looking in mirrors but has shamed me enough that I avoid them now.

Almost every time we go somewhere as a family, he gets mad or frustrated at me for no particular reason.

If things aren't going right, I'm the easiest to blame.

That's really the bottom line.

That's what all this is about.

His work is very stressful right now, so he takes it out on me.

That's the secret. He does it in the privacy of our own home so no one knows.

It's almost like he knows I don't want anyone to know. How thoughtful of him.